CrumblejonReport
English：Crumblejon · Characters
Once the fiercest samurai of the United Cities, known in his prime as the White Ripper; now a hunched, shrivelled old man in a Mongrel bar who flares up the moment anyone speaks to him — yet his Strength is still the second highest of any recruit in the game.
This wouldn't have happened back in my youth... They wouldn't have landed a single hit on me. Ah, to be back in my prime again...
Crumblejon is the unique recruit of Mongrel. He stands in a corner of the bar glaring with his one remaining eye at anyone who comes near, wearing the expression of a man who tired of you long ago and yet has to put up with you anyway.
The White Ripper
His past can be pieced together from his exchanges with Luquin: he was once a samurai of the United Cities, known in his prime as the "White Ripper" and much loved among the nobility — the nobles, it is said, found him "very exotic". When Luquin was paraded through the streets under guard all those years ago, Crumblejon was one of the faces in the watching crowd.
After his lord died he became a masterless ronin, drifted about the continent for a long while with nobody wanting him, and finally chose to see out his old age in Mongrel. The nickname "Crumblejon" comes from the creaking of his bones; his frame, too, has hunched and shrunk unnaturally. He also mentions a wife, though the two have long been estranged — while being treated he will suddenly recall that he "ought to pay her a visit", then add that theirs is an open relationship, which startles the squadmate beside him into telling him to stop talking.
His exact age is unknown. He himself will admit only to being "at least forty-five", though those listening think he looks well past a hundred. He is fond of pulling rank with his years as well, claiming he was cutting down ninjas while most people were still in the womb — a line that leaves even skeleton squadmates unsure how to answer.
Getting him into the squad
His recruitment is quite unusual for the game: there is no price, only patience. All the player can do is put a string of questions to him that make him angrier and angrier (why are you so old, can you even lift that weapon, that beard is long), and he works his way back to "stop bothering me", until at last he is goaded into bellowing "Fine! I'll join your stupid squad!"
If the player never recruits him and he dies, Mongrel spawns an ordinary mercenary swordsman to fill the slot.
Statistics and refurbishment
Beyond Strength 24, almost every skill he has sits at 10 (the weapon skills, melee attack and defence, throwing, turrets and field medic), with Dodge and Martial Arts at just 1. Which is to say: he is a Strength monster, and everything else starts from nothing. That Strength figure ranks second among all unique recruits, behind only Agnu's 50.
His hunched, shrivelled build is not irreversible. Find the Plastic Surgeon who spawns in the bar and spend 200 Cats to reopen the character editor, and his frame can be restored to normal — the "crumbling" is fixable in appearance, whereas the personality is beyond help.
Unique dialogue
- When carried off by cannibals: he grumbles the whole way about being old and stringy, "one bite and you'll spit me straight out", and finally works out that they cannot understand a word he is saying.
- In conversation with Luquin: two old wrecks sneering at one another. Luquin says time has not been kind to him; he replies that the same goes for Luquin, who looks like something fished out of a gutter; asked what his own excuse is, he merely sighs.